Gotta vent, can't do it on facebook...

Wow, kind of in the middle of issues between family and a friend. Fam has 4 girls (10, 12, 15, 16) and 2 boys (7, 11) atm (1 boy and 1 girl are cousins visiting) and friend has 3 boys (2, 7, 12).

Ok, friend's 2 older boys have been being inappropriate with the girls. The younger one has been grabbing the 10 year old girl's butt, trying to kiss her and getting mean and angry when she won't let him. This girl is incredibly sweet and soft spoken and it's gotten to the point that she is having to physically fight him off. Older boy is trying to do the same thing to the older girls. The 16 year old basically told him to go to hell, whereupon he started on on the 15 year old. It got so bad that ALL of the other kids were trying to pull him off of her. At some point someone hit him and he decided to go home, in below freezing weather on foot. When there were no parents home.

This is where things get pretty bad. 16 year old girl hears what is going on and runs out the door- no coat, no shoes, she's just in a skirt and t-shirt and it's in the 20's outside. (Fahrenheit) She ran after him, he was a few blocks away at this point. Catches up to him and walks him home. She complains that her lungs hurt, and when she sits down proceeds to start laughing hysterically and get out of it- like she's been doing drugs or something. And then the convulsions started. And the blacking out. During all of this parents are trying to rush home a fast as possible, they called me and asked me if I could get over there asap (I left work and went) They finally got home and rushed her to the hospital. She was in shock, and it's a miracle she didn't die. Her oxygen levels were terrifyingly low. She's still having problems- she's been trying to sleep non stop, hasn't really been eating well and so on. She's at my house at the moment with her parents. I've got her hooked up to oxygen and if she doesn't start showing improvement she's going back to the hospital (a different one this time. WHY they didn't keep her at least over night for observation or even hook her up to oxygen in the first place is beyond me, this hospital is known for being incompetent though.)

So, all of this is made worse by the response (or lack thereof) from the friend. She's poopooing the idea that her boys are forcing themselves on the girls and saying that they're just playing around. Ok, fine, boundaries have now been established and we'll see if they stop, but the fact of the matter is that the kids are out of control, have anger issues and absolutely no discipline. These are issues that have been bothering me, but I've been trying to lead by example and be supportive in hopes that something would change. No dice apparently. And she really doesn't seem to be getting the fact that the lack of discipline has just had potentially deadly consequences.

I never want to loose a friend, but it kills me that all of this is going on. I can buy that the boys thought they were messing around, but it just shows how lacking in boundaries they are. My son would NEVER do that to a girl, or anyone. He's been taught that our body belongs to us and no one has the right to touch us against our will. He extends that courtesy to others. Family's kids are the same way. It's NOT ok that they were doing that, even if they were just "kidding around".

Ugh, I'm just upset by the whole situation.

Can't vent on facebook cause friend is on there and I'm still figuring out how to deal with all of this...

Wow, that's really tough. I hope the girl recovers speedily and the boys have learned a valuable lesson. If they haven't, well, I might take to educating them a bit myself in that situation.

Not to be all Jerry Springer audience person here, but this 'friend' needs to get her boys in line before they
a. Hurt one of the girls moreso than thy already have.
b. Become dangerous adults.

If she can't do that, then she can at least be sensitive to your thoughts on the matter. Messing around or not.
and oin my book, that is not messing around. Its seriously screwed up.

End rant

*takes his seat back in the springeraudience*

Pretty much my thoughts exactly.

The lack of discipline, lack of boundaries and lack of respect are going to get someone else seriously hurt again at some point. It's scary.

My cousin is having trouble still. She can't walk unassisted, she is having trouble with her short term memory, reading and staying awake. We're starting to be worried that there is some possible permanent damage... She's seeing a doctor tomorrow, hopefully they'll say she'll be fine. I'm so worried, so upset and so torn. I feel somewhat responsible because I introduced them to each other, but everyone keeps yelling at me if I even start to talk like that so I don't think anyone else shares that belief. I know better too, but I am who I am and that's what I do.

At this point I can't even talk to her because I don't even know where to begin, so I haven't said anything. There are other issues as well and I am concerned that she'll wind up loosing her kids over it- lack of hygene, really bad living conditions etc. And worse, if she does I'm afraid she'll think it's us... Not to mention we live in a very small town and I'll more than likely be seeing them all on a regular basis, seeing as I work in the only convenience store, laundromat and pizza place in town...

Sorry to dump like this, I just need some place to get this all of my chest around people who aren't directly involved so I can get it on the screen and try to get some perspective on the whole thing... I really thought that I could be a good influence and help to this family (had no idea just how bad everything was to begin with, just thought "oh, the kids are a little out of control, oh they're moving and having a hard time getting settled" etc...) and instead of helping them it's dragged down a dear member of my family...

So in short, I'm severely torn between the part of me that wants to help them and the part of me that never wants to have anything to do with them again to protect my son and family. I don't see a half way here, either I invest more of my time and emotion and effort into the situation and hope I can put some sort of dent into the chaos and so on or I turn my back and walk away. I'm honestly leaning towards walking away, because I don't think there's anything I can say that they'll listen to, but that feels callous, disloyal and like giving up. I just don't know. I hate feeling like this.

Ugh, I'm babbling now. Time for bed.

Should be a good day tomorrow- trip to the springs to visit a dear friend and meet her new girl friend and threaten bodily harm if she breaks her heart... Good times... (actually should be a lot of fun, hope the poor girl has a good sense of humor XD)

There is no good reason to mess around like that. Those boys need some serious discipline ASAP or they will become dangerous adults (as other have said)

I am sorry that you have to deal with it but if those boys don't shape up, they shouldn't be allow to hang out with any of the girls period. (if that was me) I know it would hurt to lose a friend like that but you would have to think of the safety for all.

One girl (due to lack of judgment of going out in the cold) were seriously hurt because of the boy's action.