I hate retail

Yes.. yes I do.
I have learned to hate people.. I have.
I have developed a twitch in the corner of my right eye
I cannot decide if I hate rude or stupid people more
One day I will be in the news for having stuffed someone in a carpet cutter
and yet..
I continue to bring home the sweet sweet patches of Home Depot excellence

who am I?





I'm a crazy man!!
*makes the beebleybeeble sound with his lips*

every day I move closer and closer to becoming Ren of Ren and Stimpy fame.
It's just a matter of time before I start collecting rare and incurable diseases, dinosaur droppings and opera records.

*shakes and bulges a vein in the neck*


...on the plus side, I get to drive a forklift and break shit!


seriously! the other day I totally destroyed a shower.
Didn't get in a lick of trouble, coz I'm that awesome.

...but I'll still stuff somebody in the carpet cutter someday.

...someday soon.

I am WITH you there dude!

Although in my case it'd be dumping someone into the fryer

Possibly a co-worker. (or several)

I think my problem is I wear too dang many hats at work, and carry the responsibility of all of them. (Cashier, cook, server, stocker, janitor etc...) All with a bunch of catty girls (with a couple of exceptions that I never see any more cause they're on a different shift) and a manager that keeps telling me to delegate stuff without giving me the authority to do so and EVERYONE complains about the prices which I can do nothing about and and and ...

Sigh, I hate my job. Can't really post about it on facebook cause my boss's best friend is on there, lol!

I worked at a Gamestop for 3 years, I feel your pain.

On a good note, there may be a position for me starting around the middle of october in a small family owned family dollar type store. I can do that, hell, it'll be a picnic after this $%@%$ job!

And more than likely I can have a normal person schedule (you know, work during the morning/afternoon, get evenings and nights off. Amazing) And possibly weekends off?

Praying, crossing my fingers and checking in periodically (at this point we're waiting for the store to actually open, lol)

I spent the last 8 years doing tech support via phone and it was about the same customer intelligence-wise.

Dumbest story was the woman who called us from the grocery store she is the manager of and informed me that a tornado was a block away and headed towards them, "whatdoIdo?"

What do you do? Ok, go to the produce section, get a head of lettuce and a batch of raw carrots. Go out into the parking lot and use those to setup a scare-tornado. That should protect you. FUCKING RUN! GET TO SAFETY! IT'S A DAMNED TORNADO!

General Specific wrote:I spent the last 8 years doing tech support via phone and it was about the same customer intelligence-wise.

Dumbest story was the woman who called us from the grocery store she is the manager of and informed me that a tornado was a block away and headed towards them, "whatdoIdo?"

What do you do? Ok, go to the produce section, get a head of lettuce and a batch of raw carrots. Go out into the parking lot and use those to setup a scare-tornado. That should protect you. FUCKING RUN! GET TO SAFETY! IT'S A DAMNED TORNADO!

That is not what I would have told her to do with the carrots.

those that can see and not get enough good Zod action (and really.. who could? *sneers*) and are on Facebook (and friended obviously) I have something new called the rant of the week.
A little bit of channeling my inner rage in a fun and productive way (it's productive because it produces ha ha's and also keeps me from killing people. It's really quite soothing a practice).

Anyway, if you're there check em out. If you're not there and want some hawt friend action (and again,, really.. who wouldnt? *sneers again*).. pop on by.

I just play violent video games. Dynasty Warriors maybe awfully repetitive, but it's great at soothing the mass murdering urges.

Dont tell anyone, but the flower duet by Lakme sends me to my happy place every time.

Very good music to be playing during a violent video game, btw. Turn off all sound on the game and just let them ladies smooth out the violent deaths with the contrast of their voices.

ahhhhh...

I completely feel your pain. I'm the front person at the library and therefore I get all teh dumb up front and personal. Personally, I think I'd take rude (so long as they know what they're talking about) over just plain stooopid.

We just moved to a new location this summer....and our back doors are emergency exit only. The sign on the other side of the door is nearly as big as the door....and on both doors. The sign says "NO ENTRY" in big ass red letters. One day we got as many as 60 people trying to come in those doors (in 3 hours). Seriously....the sign is RIGHT in front of them that says NO ENTRY. *twitch*

And if I have to hear one more question about how to save a word document I may seriously go postal.

*plays some Rammstein to calm down*

I feel your pain I was in retail for over 6 years but I will admit it was allot less stressful then doing the phone support I am doing now. The way I counter it is I go to a Korean spa twice a month it's 18$ and I get to soak and relax for up to 24 hours.
By the time I leave there I am nice and relaxed for a good week or so.

Willow wrote:I completely feel your pain. I'm the front person at the library and therefore I get all teh dumb up front and personal. Personally, I think I'd take rude (so long as they know what they're talking about) over just plain stooopid.

We just moved to a new location this summer....and our back doors are emergency exit only. The sign on the other side of the door is nearly as big as the door....and on both doors. The sign says "NO ENTRY" in big ass red letters. One day we got as many as 60 people trying to come in those doors (in 3 hours). Seriously....the sign is RIGHT in front of them that says NO ENTRY. *twitch*

And if I have to hear one more question about how to save a word document I may seriously go postal.

*plays some Rammstein to calm down*

It's like we work at the same place. Our library remodeled, and the rear door are supposed to be emergency only. We even had a sign up. It was taken down by the pedarest - I mean president - of the college because it was "unsightly". He also wants us to remove the security gates for being "an eyesore" - which I knew was coming after his fuckrag, I mean secretary, came in and complained about them being "demeaning" since you have to pass through them to leave.

We must.....

to show you HOW OBVIOUS it is that you shouldn't try to open the door:



Yet we STILL get people trying to open those doors.

Willow wrote:We must.....

to show you HOW OBVIOUS it is that you shouldn't try to open the door:



Yet we STILL get people trying to open those doors.

You need the letters to flash and sparkle to get people's attention.

maron wrote:You need the letters to flash and sparkle to get people's attention.

I wanted to electrify the door handles, but apparently that was a bad idea because I wasn't allowed to.

It's because the whole liability thing

Stoopid Liability. If they're stupid enough to try a door that clearly says NO then they deserve to be darwinized!

Willow wrote:Stoopid Liability. If they're stupid enough to try a door that clearly says NO then they deserve to be darwinized!

I know but if the person lives they will sue.

maron wrote:

Willow wrote:Stoopid Liability. If they're stupid enough to try a door that clearly says NO then they deserve to be darwinized!

I know but if the person lives they will sue.

Rule #2 - Double Tap to be sure.

Then the family will sue

today a customer got annoyed with me and asked for another 'associate' (that's our fancy word for salesmen) to help her because she said I looked mad.
...

I explained to her that I 'was' in fact mad but not at her but rather at the pigs who fucked up the aisle we were in by leaving tiles and planks all over the floor as well as wax paper liners and everything being disheveled.
But I further went on to ensure her that I was not mad at her and would continue to give her the same sterling salesmanship that I am known for.

to which she continued that she doubted that because being angry was not conducive to being a good salesman.

...

it didn't end well..

something about a painted smile.. I'm not your fucking drummer boy... wtf would you know about salesmanship, have you ever worked retail.. no there are no other salesmen left in flooring because you came to the store a 1/2 hour before closing and me storming to the back to consume several liters of water and recant Cartoon planet/Ren and Stimpy bits till I could go back out there.

Zod the everliving wrote:today a customer got annoyed with me and asked for another 'associate' (that's our fancy word for salesmen) to help her because she said I looked mad.
...

I explained to her that I 'was' in fact mad but not at her but rather at the pigs who fucked up the aisle we were in by leaving tiles and planks all over the floor as well as wax paper liners and everything being disheveled.
But I further went on to ensure her that I was not mad at her and would continue to give her the same sterling salesmanship that I am known for.

to which she continued that she doubted that because being angry was not conducive to being a good salesman.

...

it didn't end well..

something about a painted smile.. I'm not your fucking drummer boy... wtf would you know about salesmanship, have you ever worked retail.. no there are no other salesmen left in flooring because you came to the store a 1/2 hour before closing and me storming to the back to consume several liters of water and recant Cartoon planet/Ren and Stimpy bits till I could go back out there.

Yikes! *hug*